This is why being assertive doesn’t work.
Imagine you go sledding. You start at the top of the hill but never know quite where you’ll end up. The slope, terrain, snow density, and premade grooves all shape your path, leaving you with little control.
Compare this to snowboarding. The same factors exist, but you’re better equipped and positioned to go where you want.
When it comes to decisions, most people sled.
They start on what they think is the best course, and try to avoid obstacles. But overall they exert little influence.
Behind this metaphor is the concept of something called “influence vectors.”
There are many factors affecting our decisions. Once you understand them you become a “snowboarder” and demystify the power of influence.
People aren’t persuaded by force alone. They move along the lines of least resistance created by incentives, pressure, and environment.
Most chase outcomes. But I want you to learn to shape the conditions which make outcomes inevitable.
Stacking vectors is like applying pressure to a piece in chess. The enemy attacks, you defend. They add a second attacker, you add a second defender. Then another.
Eventually you forget a piece is supporting the fortress. You move it and your entire position collapses.
Invisible forces push and pull behavior. Beliefs, habits, emotion.
So what are these vectors?
Incentive vectors include money, relief, opportunity, status, convenience. Also loss aversion, usually stronger than desire.
Identity vectors include values, self image, tribal alignment. People resist what threatens identity, and act to reinforce it.
Emotional vectors usually hold more sway than logic. Fear, anger, pride, hope, lust, love, sympathy.
Environmental vectors are setting, systems, norms, what is expected.
Relationship vectors are who’s asking. Trust, authority, history.
The same request lands differently depending on the source.
Most persuasion fails because people push the wrong vector, or only one, instead of aligning several.
On the chessboard of power, influence is pressure on files, diagonals, and weak squares. Checkmate is merely a convergence of attacks.
To read vectors accurately takes practice. You can start by asking:
What are they afraid of?
What are they trying to protect?
What would make this easy to say yes to?
Who are they signaling to?
Once you see the patterns, you can create vectors and shape the battlefield.
Reframe identity.
Acquire leverage.
Adjust environment.
Manage your reputation.
Defensively, watch for sudden urgency, status pressure, or identity framing that boxes you in.
You may have failed math class, but the arithmetic of ambition is simple. Understand vector math and you shape the battlefield instead of reacting.
If you’re tired of watching less capable people get what you wanted, stop looking at the surface, and learn to see the controlling forces.